There is a saying, ‘Parents are representatives of Gods on Earth’. Parenting also means ‘Sacrifice’; of choices, personal time and what not. And daily most parents carry out these sacrifices happily, but still they are deprived of the acknowledgement or satisfaction of being a good or a happy parent. While not taking away the hard work and sacrifices being made by most parents, I wish to discuss complaints of most parents about difficulties faced by them in upbringing their wards.
These difficulties often arise due to parents’ lack of understanding of the needs of their growing children. As children grow from childhood to being adult, their needs keep changing, but there are certain factors which remain constant. If these factors are taken care of in early years, parents can look forward to develop a strong and successful bond with their wards.
Let’s look at these factors which can help a parent in you.
- Be a Good Listener: Most parents fail on this count of being a good listener. Irrespective of the age of a child, s/he constantly tries to communicate with the parents. When the child is a baby, everyone in the house give careful attention to their every word as there is an element of fascination in words of newborns. But, as they grow up, often parents tend to neglect their communication due to one reason or the other. Though they are too young to express, there is a feeling of being unheard in their tender minds.
- Be Patient: It is the biggest virtue while dealing with children, irrespective of their age groups. As per the neurology experts, the brain of a child grows until the age of 20. Till that time, they are dependent on parents for decision making. But, if parents fail to display patience while dealing with them, they may choose to take their own decisions, often influenced by peers or some outside factors.
- Be Empathetic: Accept the fact that, they have not lived numbers of years you have lived in this world, so in most probability, their judgement or decision making will never be as good as yours. Encourage them even if they make small mistakes. Give them confidence that they can fall back on you, whenever required.
- Be a Support: Develop a genuine friendship with your ward. Provide them with the environment that, they can share with you all their secrets, confusions, questions and fears. Don’t be judgmental due to some of their actions or mistakes. You will never be able to find anyone, who has never made mistakes in life, even you must have, so what’s a big deal? By allowing open communication between you and your ward, you will make sure to be aware of things influencing / happening around them and intervene with right guidance in case needed.
- Praise your ward: Particularly applicable for teenagers, many parents think that, by praising they will spoil their wards. But in reality, it is just reverse. You develop a very strong bond with them by praising, which can also serve as motivation tool to channelize their huge energies towards positive activities.
In effect, invest your time and energy into your wards with patience and you will be surprised to see the results. Choice is yours; do you want to give positivism to your ward for positive results or keep on pushing them hard under constant gaze of disbelief and doubt.